7 Ways To Get Anyone to Say Yes
How to Win Anyone Over (Without Being a Jerk)
If you find this content valuable, please consider subscribing to our newsletter. You’ll receive more insights like this directly in your inbox. You can also support me by buying me a coffee
Let’s start with a little thought experiment. Think of the last time someone really rubbed you the wrong way trying to convince you of something. Maybe it was a pushy salesperson or an overly insistent friend. Chances are, the more they pushed, the more you pulled away.
Persuasion isn’t so much about the words you use, but understanding the fundamental psychology of how humans make decisions. When you grasp what truly motivates people, you can guide conversations in a way that makes them feel empowered to say “yes” of their own volition.
We’re going to explore 7 counterintuitive strategies to become a master influencer — without coming across like an overbearing used car salesman. The secret? Making the other person feel understood, appreciated, and in control.
1. Ask Questions (The Right Way)
You’ve heard it before — the person who asks questions is the one holding the control. But there’s a right and wrong way to go about it.
Asking “why” makes most people feel interrogated and put on the defensive. Why haven’t you taken my advice? Why won’t you say yes? Suddenly, you’ve created a combative, us vs. them dynamic.
Instead, ask “what” questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no. For example:
“What prompted you to prioritize project X over project Y this quarter?”
“What enhancements could make this proposal more appealing or realistic for your team?”
You’re not judging, just gathering information. People can’t help but elaborate, giving you valuable insights while making them feel heard and involved in the process.
Plus, asking smart, engaged questions is one of the highest forms of flattery — it shows you value and respect their perspective. And humans can’t resist feeling important.
2. Let Them Convince Themselves
I’m willing to bet that in most conversations where you’re seeking a “yes”, the other person has already made up their mind in the first few minutes. After that, they’re simply looking for justifications to back up their predetermined conclusion.
Your job is to let them convince themselves.
For example, if I told you that 85% of Fortune 500 companies outsource workflow management, you’d assume it’s wise to follow the herd. But if I explained the reasoning — “Specialized workflow firms have deeper expertise, save money through economies of scale, and let your core team focus on higher priorities” — you’ll rationally conclude it’s a good idea yourself.
People are far more convinced by the reasons they generate internally than any arguments you can make. So instead of pitching, strategically share facts and ideas that will lead them to your desired conclusion naturally.
3. Plant Seeds of Doubt (Gently)
Even someone who says “no” is often harboring private doubts or uncertainties. Your mission is to identify those seeds of doubt — and water them ever so slightly.
For instance, imagine proposing a website redesign, but the client says “Our current site is working fine, so we’ll pass for now.” You could plant a gentle seed like:
“Sure, I can appreciate wanting to be cautious with big changes. But just out of curiosity, what are your long-term goals for user engagement and conversions? Newer websites tend to drive 20% more lead flow on average.”
You’re not pushing any agenda, just posing an intriguing “what if” question. If the seed resonates, they’ll begin reconsidering their stance themselves. If not, no harm done — you maintained a collaborative, judgment-free tone.
4. Create Curiosity Gaps
Humans are wired to feel compelled by unanswered questions and incomplete ideas. It’s why cliffhanger TV show endings and suspenseful novels are so gripping.
By intentionally omitting certain intriguing details, you spark the other person’s innate curiosity and prime them to lean in for more.
For example, when proposing a marketing campaign you might say: “Our data shows this approach has been beating industry benchmarks by staggering margins — I’d be happy to walk through the specific numbers and case studies…”
Or, “You may have already seen some hints of this rolling out with other brands, but the technology we’re using is totally revolutionary…”
You’re planting tantalizing curiosity gaps they’ll be driven to fill by hearing you out further. It’s an extremely powerful psychological trigger based on humanity’s deep-rooted desire to attain completion and closure.
5. Find the Hidden “Yes” Embedded in Every “No”
One smart way to reframe any “no” is by looking for the “yes” hidden underneath. Here’s what I mean:
If someone says “No, I can’t commit yet”, hear the implied “yes” of “I’m interested, I just need more information to get convinced.”
“No, your timeline is too rushed” signals “Yes, I’ll consider this if we adjust the schedule to be more realistic.”
There’s always a “yes” tucked away — you just have to actively listen for it. Avoid taking any rejection at face value, and dig deeper to isolate the real objection or sticking point. Then, you can navigate around it.
For example: “You’re right, rolling this out so quickly does risk cutting corners. But what if we aimed for Phase 1 to launch in Q3, with the full deployment by Q1 next year? I’m happy to take a look at timing.”
Subtle reinforce that you hear their concern, agree with the “yes” hidden behind their “no”, and let them steer you toward their ideal solution.
6. Frame Things as Temporary Trials
One of the most powerful psychological triggers is the law of consistency. In essence, people strive to act consistently with what they’ve previously said or done — even if the original motivator is gone.
So instead of seeking a full, permanent commitment from the start, propose a small, temporary trial first. This gets their foot in the door in a very low-risk way. Then, human psychology does the rest — they’ll be far more inclined to expand and continue doing what they’ve already started.
For example, ask to “test out” your proposed marketing strategy for a few weeks rather than signing an annual contract upfront. Or suggest rolling out a new software “just for the product team” before considering other departments.
Once they’re over the initial hurdle and experiencing the benefits first-hand, you can easily parlay the temporary trial into a long-term “yes”. After all, persisting with the status quo now violates their own consistency principle.
7. The Powerful Pause: Create Silence
In our fast-paced world, most people feel intense pressure to fill any conversational silence or vacuum. By intentionally staying silent after making your key points, you flip this dynamic on its head.
Now the other person will be subconsciously compelled to be the one to speak up and end the uncomfortable pause — often by acquiescing to your proposal.
When you deliver your big idea, key ask, or bottom line…stop talking. Sit back and maintain serene eye contact and silence. This shifts the pressure onto them to respond. And since humans instinctively seek to ease tensions, they’ll be motivated to say “yes” and move things forward.
Even short strategic pauses sprinkled throughout your dialogue can work wonders, commanding attention and focus before you continue with subsequent points.
Give It a Try (The Smart Way)
So go ahead and test out some of these “persuasion judo” tactics — not to force anyone into submission, but to co-create situations where everyone wins and walks away feeling empowered.