Are You Just a Passenger In Your Own Life?

Is life happening TO you, or are YOU happening TO life?

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Imagine being on a road trip while seated in the passenger seat. The car is in motion, yet you have no say in the destination or the route taken.

This is how many individuals move through their lives simply going through the motions without actively directing their own paths.

So, what stops us from grabbing the wheel? Is it fear? Laziness? Or the comforting lie that going with the flow is somehow easier?

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I’ve caught myself stuck in this position more times than I’d like to admit—passively watching as life steers itself into the same predictable loop: wake up, work, deal with random tasks, sleep, repeat.

It’s not a conscious choice. It just happens. And once you’re in it, breaking out feels like trying to U-turn on a one-way street.

Worse, it’s sneaky. It doesn’t show up with a neon sign saying, “Hey, you’re drifting!” It’s in the small stuff:

• Saying yes to things you don’t want to do.

• Letting someone else decide how your time gets spent.

• Putting off big decisions because they’re scary.

And before you know it, you’re just... there. Stuck in a life someone else could’ve written.

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What I’ve Learned

Here’s the thing—I don’t have it all figured out. But I’ve been experimenting, A few have actually worked.

First, I had to start paying attention. Sounds obvious, right? It’s not. You can’t fix what you don’t even see.

For me, the clues were everywhere. Spending hours scrolling my phone when I could’ve been doing something I cared about. Pretending I didn’t mind when something clearly bothered me. Ignoring my health because fixing it seemed overwhelming.

None of this was happening to me. I was letting it happen.

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Then: questioned my own choices.

At the end of the day, I started asking myself, Did I actually decide anything today? Or did it just... happen?

It’s an uncomfortable question because the answer is often no. I didn’t choose to binge Netflix; it just turned on. I didn’t pick a healthy meal; I grabbed whatever was easy. I didn’t take a single step toward my goals because distractions were louder.

Once I saw the patterns, it got harder to ignore them.

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Fixing this isn’t about overhauling your life in one dramatic gesture. That’s a surefire way to burn out before you even start.

Instead, I began focusing on small wins. One thing a day to remind myself I’m the one in charge. Maybe it’s sending a message I’ve been avoiding. Or planning my week for ten minutes. Or even just saying no when I’d usually say fine.

These little actions started adding up. They didn’t change everything overnight, but they did remind me that I have more control than I thought.

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A Must Try Fun Hack

Here’s a fun trick I tried recently: ask yourself, How could I make this worse?

For me, that meant saying yes to everything, wasting all my time, and blaming everyone else for my problems.

Then I flipped it. What if I said no to things that didn’t matter? What if I treated my time like it was actually worth something? What if I owned my choices instead of playing the victim?

Turns out, the answers were staring me in the face the whole time.

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Final Thoughts

You can’t control everything in life, but you can control more than you think.

Always ask yourself who’s driving. Then take one small action—any action—that reminds you it’s your road, your trip, your destination.

Because if you don’t, you’ll just keep riding shotgun. And nobody dreams of that.

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