Why Chasing Happiness is Pointless
Happiness Is Not The Pinnacles of Our Lives, But Our Everyday Moments As Well. It
It was a crisp autumn day, and I was out for a jog through the park near my apartment. The leaves were just starting to turn, and the air had that refreshing crispness that only comes at the turning of the seasons.
I was feeling good — no, better than good. I was on a high. Just a week prior, I’d landed my dream job, the one I’d been working towards for years. The salary was amazing, the work was stimulating, and I finally felt like I’d “made it.”
But as I rounded the final stretch of my run, something shifted. It wasn’t a gradual change, but a sudden, jolting realization that stopped me in my tracks.
In that 5-second moment, I recognized, with stark clarity, that despite all my efforts to find happiness, I still felt empty inside.
The realization hit me like a ton of bricks. Here I was, living the life I’d always wanted — great job, good money, bright future. And yet, I felt no closer to true, lasting happiness than I had before.
In that instant, every assumption I’d ever held about the nature of happiness came crashing down. All the time and energy I’d poured into chasing this elusive feeling suddenly seemed like an enormous waste.
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The Myth of Happiness
For as long as I can remember, I’d been led to believe that happiness was the ultimate goal in life. From childhood fairytales to self-help gurus, the message was always the same: if you just work hard enough, achieve your dreams, and acquire the right things, you’ll be happy.
But what if that’s all a lie? What if the very notion of “chasing happiness” is fundamentally flawed?
The more I reflect on it, the more I realize that the concept of happiness as a destination to be pursued is deeply problematic. It sets us up for a lifetime of disappointment and disillusionment.
After all, think about it — when was the last time you felt truly, deeply happy? Not just a fleeting moment of joy or satisfaction, but a profound, lasting sense of contentment and fulfillment?
For most of us, those instances are few and far between. And even when we do experience them, they tend to be quickly replaced by new wants, needs, and anxieties.
The truth is, that happiness is not a static state of being that we can attain and hold onto forever. It’s a fluid, ever-changing emotional landscape, shaped by a complex interplay of factors beyond our control.
The Hedonic Treadmill
This phenomenon is known as the “hedonic treadmill” — the tendency of humans to quickly return to a relatively stable level of happiness despite major positive or negative events or life changes.
Studies have shown that even major life events, whether joyous or tragic, only tend to have a temporary impact on our happiness levels. Within a year or two, most people revert back to their baseline level of well-being.
In one famous study, researchers compared the happiness levels of accident victims who had become paraplegic to those of individuals who had won the lottery. Surprisingly, the two groups reported similar levels of happiness just a year after their life-changing events.
This suggests that our happiness is not determined by our circumstances, but by an innate “set point” hardwired into our brains. No matter how much we accomplish or acquire, we always seem to return to a relatively stable level of contentment (or discontent).
So if happiness is not a permanent state to be chased and captured, what then is the point of pursuing it so relentlessly? Perhaps it’s time we rethink our approach and redefine what it means to live a fulfilling life.
The Problem with Happiness
If the hedonic treadmill is real, and our happiness levels are largely predetermined, then what’s the harm in continuing to chase that elusive feeling?
Well, the problem is that this pursuit can actually be detrimental to our overall well-being. When happiness becomes the sole focus, we often neglect other important aspects of a meaningful life.
For one, the constant striving for happiness can lead to a profound sense of dissatisfaction and restlessness. We’re always looking ahead to the next achievement, the next milestone, the next “thing” that will finally make us happy.
This prevents us from fully accepting and appreciating the present moment. (let that sink in for a moment)
Additionally, the pressure to maintain a state of perpetual happiness can be psychologically and emotionally draining. When we inevitably fall short of that lofty goal, we tend to be overly self-critical, further eroding our sense of well-being.
Studies have even shown that an excessive focus on happiness can backfire, leading to poorer mental health outcomes. Paradoxically, the more we try to force ourselves to be happy, the less happy we tend to feel.
Redefining Well-Being
So if chasing happiness is a losing battle, what should we be striving for instead? The answer, it seems, lies in redefining our conception of well-being.
Rather than fixating on happiness as the end-all, be-all, we would do better to make a more holistic sense of fulfillment and contentment. This might include encouraging meaningful relationships, engaging in challenging and rewarding activities, and finding a sense of purpose that extends beyond our own personal satisfaction.
Indeed, research has shown that factors like social connection, a sense of meaning, and feelings of competence and autonomy are far better predictors of long-term well-being than happiness alone.
One of the key insights here is that well-being is not a static state, but an ongoing process of growth, adaptation, and self-actualization. It’s about accepting the full range of human experience — the highs and the lows, the joys and the sorrows.
Rather than trying to force ourselves into a perpetual state of happiness, we should focus on developing resilience and emotional intelligence to navigate the inevitable ups and downs of life with grace and equanimity.
Finding Fulfillment in the Everyday
Of course, this is easier said than done. Letting go of the happiness obsession and redefining our approach to well-being requires a fundamental shift in mindset.
It means acknowledging that life is messy, complex, and often unpredictable — and that’s okay. It means learning to find meaning and satisfaction in the small, everyday moments, rather than pinning all our hopes on some future state of bliss.
One way to start is by developing a greater sense of presence and awareness in our daily lives.
Instead of rushing through our routines on autopilot, we can take the time to fully engage with our senses, our thoughts, and our emotions. We can savor the simple pleasures, like the warmth of a morning cup of coffee or the beauty of a sunset.
Also accept the full spectrum of our emotional experience, rather than trying to suppress or avoid the “negative” feelings. Sadness, anxiety, and even boredom all have a purpose and can offer valuable insights if we’re willing to listen to them.
Final Thoughts
After all, we’ve been conditioned from a young age to believe that happiness is the ultimate goal, the prize at the end of the race.
The beauty of this approach is that it allows us to find fulfillment not just in the pinnacles of our lives, but in the everyday moments as well.
Thanks for your time, really appreciated :)