Why Do You Keep Chasing Goals That Don't Even Fulfill You?
A Man Can Do What He Wills, but Cannot Wills What He Wills -Schopenhauer's
Let me tell you a story.
In 1914, Ernest Shackleton had a big dream: to walk across Antarctica.
It was risky and nearly impossible. But Shackleton wanted to be great. He wanted people to remember his name.
He built a crew, got the money, and started the Endurance expedition.
But, The ship got stuck in ice and was slowly crushed.
Shackleton and his men were stranded in one of the coldest, most dangerous places on Earth. No ship. No way to call for help.
Shackleton could’ve stuck to his goal. But he didn’t. He made a bold decision to change his focus.
When Shackleton’s ship sank, he had two choices.
He could stick to his dream of crossing Antarctica.
Or he could change his goal entirely. He chose survival.
For two years, Shackleton led his crew through freezing temperatures, hunger, and danger.
And against all odds, he brought every one of his men home alive.
Shackleton isn’t remembered for crossing Antarctica. He’s remembered for saving his team.
Shackleton’s story is a perfect example of why it’s okay to let go of a goal that no longer makes sense.
The Reason We Chase Empty Goals
You think reaching your goal will make you happy. But usually, something else is driving you.
To impress others: Many of our goals aren’t even ours. They’re what others — society, family, or social media — say we should want.
Fear of being left behind: It feels like everyone is moving ahead. You’re scared to stop, so you keep running — even if you don’t know why.
The myth of “arrival”: You think happiness is waiting at the next milestone. But when you get there, the finish line moves again.
Familiar? Because I’ve been stuck in all of these traps.
I thought hitting the goal would fix everything.
But when I got there, it felt… empty.
No joy. No relief. Just another question: “What’s next?”
I’m still figuring this out. But I’ve learned a few things that help.
1. Be honest with yourself
Ask: Why am I chasing this goal?
Do you actually care about it?
Or are you worried about what others think?
“It’s not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.” — Sir Edmund Hillary
Many of my goals weren’t mine. They were what others expected from me.
2. Change how you define success
Success doesn’t have to be a big title or a shiny award.
It can mean:
Spending time with people you care about.
Creating something you’re proud of, even if no one sees it.
Waking up excited for the day.
Figure out what makes you feel alive. That’s your success, not what others say it should be.
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.” — Albert Schweitzer
Once you do this, your goals will start to feel more meaningful.
3. Flip your thinking
Here’s a trick: Instead of asking, “What will make me happy?” ask, “What’s making me miserable?” Then do the opposite. (SAVE THIS SENTENCE)
For example:
If your job drains you, maybe you need fewer hours or a different role.
If your side hustle feels like a trap, it might be time to quit.
If you’re chasing perfection, ask what’s good enough.
“Sometimes, the fastest way forward is stepping back.”
4. Learn to let go
Letting go of a goal doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re growing.
Ask yourself:
Is this goal still right for me?
Am I holding onto it because I’m scared to quit?
5. Focus on the process
Shackleton figured this out the hard way. When his dream failed, he didn’t quit.
He shifted his focus to something bigger: saving his crew.
When we stop obsessing over the result and enjoy the journey, things get to change.
Celebrate small wins along the way.
Learn and grow no matter the outcome.
Feel proud of your effort, not just the result.
The process becomes the reward.
Wait a Sec
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Some very actionable tips here, very often we live our life on a "rinse and repeat" basis because we're stuck in that rut. We'll continue to place one foot in front of the other out of habit and we will keep going in that same direction until we receive some kind of jolt or realisation.
It might be that things are just not bad enough yet for us to be prompted into action, sometimes we need that wake up call from an outside source because we can't see it on our own.
I think your post might do that for someone, thanks for writing it Singh.
The story was a light bulb moment for me. You can learn to pivot and still be happy. There's no point in chasing meaningless goals or the right goals for the wrong reasons.